Done being in love with you

When I was a child,
I was attracted to a girl,
Seemed like my first love,
serene and pristine -
like mountain snow;
I wished I had girlfriends
grew up without any..

When I grew up,
I fell for another.
She had the basic things right,
though we hardly talked,
except when we departed-
when she disappeared into
thin mist,
- lost in time.

Spreadin' my wings,
never did things affect me;
till 'nother bug bit me..
senior at prom,
diamond she looked;
devil-dressed blue angel,
I was scared to touch...

'twas like those 40 winks,
a fantasy sojourn to Neverland,
lustre lost, a memory gained,
plastic smiles,short clips;
things never got real-
till another svelte touch;

She was good,
not much a picture, chaotic;
raised a rumpus,
yet she was a fine,
ruby carmine;
confused catterpillar,
n'er turned a butterfly;
things jus happened,
like some divine patterns
bound to take shape,
love was blind, now I knew
the pain was real
she wasn't right
done being in love with her.

enough; there's none else
soul stripping catharsis,
the Truth is here,
hopes still alive
laugh not-
life's never picture perfect
The Day will arrive..
The Day will arrive.

PIRATE PRIDE AND A MAGICAL CASTLE

Again this is not a poem...read it as a song...get me a break. Well , this is yet another casual attempt to say; I wrote it during my AI class..


A cloud of heavy smoke,
fills the air around;
A light zephyr blows 'em away
Leaving me alone..wid my dreams.

1 {
What could possibly be the reason,
I want 'nother solution..
To escape - hide from my self,
illusive blurred dreams,
I want 'nother solution.
}

A half built castle blown by the storms,
the roots got arid..
how a tree would be born,
Screaming aloud -pride opposes
Nurtured it with my own hands,
And now it's threat-
to me; to my dreams and
my magical castles.

(1) repeat
{
What could possibly be the reason,
I want 'nother solution..
To escape - hide from my self,
illusive blurred dreams,
I want 'nother solution.
}

Chokin' drapin sheets- smothering me,
Bolted my brain, that I find it
hard to breathe..
the crew held hostage,
--some refuge of a wrecked ship;
by fuckin Pirate Pride
Pistols firing aloud ..
shiver my logic..

end{
Now, if I could puke it off
I could stand my reason,
and hence stand for myself..
and a myopic vision..
And my magical castles ..
watch 'em real alive......
watch 'em real alive...

Through this----

Well, this is my first attempt to write a Rap song actually since song lyrics and the way music gives it life have always inspired and amazed me. This is a rather casual attempt, written during my Operating Systems class. I must improve subsequently still I thought I could put it here..Any ways if you can get it recorded I will be more than happy(though I've thoughtof a music to it)..and yes u can ofcourse you can suggest an apt title.

If you could stare into my eyes,
its an ocean full of...
hopes, emotions, fear and pride;
Waves of ecstasy-troughs of cries.

And you could even get,
A glint of a threat,
a sort of frozen fire,
that burns me within-finding no escape;

1
{
Life was like a gleam,
of unfelt dreams,
Life has become hell,
too horrible to tell.

Tell me what you see,
When you stare into my eyes;
2(Treason, betrayal, love or shit),
Tell me what you get,
when you peep into my heart..
plundered of its toys..
plundered of silly joys..
hmm.....
}

If you could peep into my heart,
You could sense an uproar,
numbd by sweet poison-
hurt by pretention;
yet it beats for you-
yet it beats for you....

1
{
Life was like a gleam,
of unfelt dreams,
Life has become hell,
too horrible to tell.

Tell me what you see,
When you stare into my eyes;
2(Pain n love n a potrait of myself),
Tell me what you get,
when you peep into my heart..
plundered of its toys..
plundered of silly joys..
hmm.....
}

I won't be afraid,
for any cheap fuck,
and I won't be afraid,
for any cruel luck..
I shall lead my life
beyond my all desires;
I shall hold my ground..
Yet it shakes for you ..
Yet it shakes for you

VDay Redemption

Irrational juxtaposition of two souls leading to a mythical, endless and riotic love affair. An affair which is long afloat by a fragile hope on a seemingly rudderless stream. The perdition of such unfortunate and fortuitous events often leaves an indelible mark on one’s thinking percolating through to the core of his philosophies, which are often gullible enough to deserve a crucible of a mature mind and so easily biased by Rand-novels.

Such love affairs seem to be a juvenile delinquency of the doer and he swears of perennial abstinence from romancing with voluptuous figures (or for the purists’ sake –beatific souls) oblivious of the fact that he never committed such crimes in the first place. They just happened.

You stand helpless, skeptic of the obscure audacity within you. The momentum of ballistic projectiles suddenly abates baffled by the mysteries of love. Your faculties, dilapidated by the unkind daggers inflicting your heart, run out of sanity and sanctity. The absence of both is unfathomably traumatic. Tragic ending of an ephemeral love story.

Musing on a chair, in perfect solitude, you laugh at those incredible and cherished moments spent together. So beautiful, though not perfectly harmonic. You reciprocate nonchalantly to the disdainful taunts and looks of fellow men. ’What the hell did they ever know? On a path I’ve chosen to skip’. Draconian Love. Lovers’ trysts peep into your sleep. Everything seems to augment the scourge on your psyche.

Sympathy comes as a soothing balm and seems a dire necessity. A placid countenance on your face exudes a natural aversion to silly human feelings- abstract and foolish. The bliss of love and its promises seems like polished pebbles and crafted shells on a puddle of mud. And your foot is still in it.All the altruism you ever exhibited for your love has gone diluted in the mud. And you wonder why things are the way they are, more in sorrow than in anger.

‘’’Why was she so reticent?’ ‘Was she scared of the ramifications?’ ‘How could she be so rude?’ And why is this simple thing so byzantine and cumbersome?’ Am I the right guy?’ ”

‘Infatuation, infection, addiction, lust, love …..what was it?’

All such questions pop up of the heavy hollow in your mind. There is a strange pleasure in this intoxicating pain. And when the Little Manhattan boy says -

“’Love is an ugly, terrible business practiced by fools.’

‘It will trample your heart and leave you bleeding on the floor.’

‘And what does it leave you with?

Nothing but a few incredible memories’”; its just so satiating to your ego.

As I write this on 14^th February, ’08 , a Judgment Day for many myriad affairs, every flashback of good old times pumps a phial of blood out of my ransacked heart. Now we are not to portend the destination of such joy-rides. Still, if at any point of time, you ever have such thoughts or come across such feelings, it’s nothing but True Love. Regardless of what you get (return on the heavy investment), its priceless and a lifetime treasure. Empyrean and sublime, nothing can steal this from you. If you can, forgive and forget-fight with fortitude, if you can’t -

‘Stay happy, Stay Hungry and Stay foolish’.

(Atonement of a kind.At least if it can give such an impulse to one’s creativity , there’s nothing to lose).

{again sorry for the grammatical errors if any}

The Devil & The Deep Blue Sea

There's a Devil,
Incorporeal,
A shadow of my weak will
threatenin',
like a glint of a knife
She has no anatomy,
no signs of blood,
flesh or bones..
but cries ,causes pain,
a vicious helix,
To a suffering
and incapacitious brain
dopes my faculties
has divided loyalties..

There's the Devil
Of free form
Of incandescent effulgence,
Salacious,
Incorporeal,
and a true
shadow of my weak will.

I get past The Red DEVIL,
I see no light,
'midst darkness and doubt,
I look down
to discover the Deep Blue Sea.
A sea of emotions,
A sea of madness,
Spreading her arms
or Yawning..
she drowns my senses.
She looks so keen
and so incarnate.
that it seems
There's no bolt-hole,
No different path,
to elude-
the final Check-mate !!

Caught in a double-binding,
between the Devil
and The Deep Blue Sea.
A bargain made with the devil
is a date with the Sea.
They are-
a betrayed lover's dices,
a slaved warrior's choices.
choose between Me, we or She,
choose between The Devil
and The Deep Blue Sea.


Summary :-
The poem summarizes the conflicting thoughts a person caught in a conundrum ,between equally unpleasant choices ,which is personified by the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, probably a pessimistic person's coz an optimistic person always sees light at the end of it and looks forward to a bright dawn.A pessimist loses hope and succumbs to mounting pressures.Foot-loose and fancy free persons find such situations rare but then its adversity that breeds the genius.

Call Of Duty

Some hundred days and here you go,
Crawling out of comforts
One thing you vow,
When the call is strong
emotions heavy,
jus move along..
get out of the throng.

You had some rare old time,
friends, and faith sublime,
and for those fukin bad raps
you did gather some malice ...
Life's not smooth sailing..
Someday, you did realise.

And the stakes are high,
All in your favor ,aye,
Pick up the gauntlet,
Aim at the bull's eye..
A hundred mortals foolin' around,
A hundred caustic eyes pryin',
Flaring sparks flying.
In for a penny, in for a pound,
Kick the fire ,"Gawd,its dying !".

Inherit the wind,
Out on a limb,
To a place you've never been
To heights scarcely seen,
So gear up for the fight,
Shoot ! lest the goal's out of sight,
Life's beckonin' you ,
Life lived by few,
fight for its beleaguered beauty,
Live up to the call,
Its the Call of Duty.

Love.....

love the thorns
that cause you pain ,
love the stones
they teach you rough..

love the woman
who kicked your butt ,
love the man
who called you slut..

love the crowd
that revile and jeer at you..
they teach you the warmth
when others cheer for you .

love the things
you hate to do ,
they help you realise
the passion in you...

love the bricks
you climb upon ,
love the rap
you learn from..

love your foes
it melts them down...
love your friends
I guess you do...

love leaves you humble ,
love helps you rumble
secrets you never knew..
the joys and frills-
you consciously strew.

love moulds your vision ,
love gives you a reason
to love thy psyche
to live your life......

"What keeps us alive,
what allows us to endure?
I think it is the hope of loving,
or being loved. "- Meister Eckhart