Why Is It So ??

why is it dat I'm feelin' so numb,
'bout d cords dat hold my fate,
that tune my life..a life so dumb,
set music to it..or
rather tear it apart..

why is it like I'm lost in the crowd..
Of circumstancially crafted faces
those that still being in shape
hardly leave any traces..
And Of monotonous old options,
that thru every psyche runs..

why do I feel so frequently paranoid..
n why have remorses become a routine happenstance,
why should my liberty,my freedom
be constrained by social,ideological
or money-oriented straightjackets ?

N why do i find
Every new choice alluring n
Every spark idea beauteous
Am i innovative in my take,
Or rather deceptive for some sake.
Like dragging myself into deeper puzzles,
Of bijou pieces
of protean,sanguine yet invidous thoughts..

now every vent to any desire
seems ..
Like a fat in the fire
that could lead me into a mayhem
n turn me
gallivant and hedonistic..
Or
set me onto Fortune sails..
n turn my grins
to seraphic smiles..

Yet I believe,
amidst such skeptic moves,
and
efforts bereft of poignant goals,
my works would never go waste..
So if its punches or kisses chaste
I provoke no mutiny..
n jus pursue my florid ambitions..
leavin the rest to destiny.

summary:-

I have stumbled upon a many things in these recent years ..and everything
interesting lures..leavin me doubtful @ the end of the day..
I find myself struggling in a crowd of play-safe-rather-adventurous people..
its so confusing @ times that I at times hours in quite contemplation..
watever I'm at least this sure dat my efforts wont go waste..
So i continue to work my way out ...rest is destiny..

this is just a sincere expression of abstract thoughts n emotions overflowing...an urge from the inside..nat any artificial effort