It has been a long period of hibernation since I last posted. While the Rebel-In-Me continues to speak volumes to me, I am unable or may be squeezed by time and energy to post some of them here. Certainly, the writers' block has ended with something I write today. In fact, this is an exercise for a breach of discipline, assigned by the Dean.
All the while, I must admit it has been a mix of emotions and Xperiences since I joined XIM, Bhubaneswar. I will try to put some of them here.
Meanwhile, the Annual Management and Cul-Fest Xpressions '09 at XIM was one of the best of its kind and and rich experience that I shall forever cherish. Well, then let me get back to
Discipline and Me.
The rustic and under mould wandering mind of a child travels faster beyond the imaginable, dying to explore the unending ionic rigs around him, certainly inquisitive about and troubled by the vagaries of human nature as he digs deep and wide. The same state as this, I had a very rudimentary notion of Discipline and priorities though a good idea of things I loved to do and things I should do. As I continued to interact with the world around me, pulled by random ideas that I happily embraced, I radiated more energy split and did exude a good deviation from the accepted norms of discipline; blame it on Stark and Zeeman effects or a typical mindset endowed upon(‘gifted’ might sound an eulogy minus conviction).
I left home at 16, and have since been a boarder for the past 6 and half years. These years have been the actual formative years of my life, a quarter Gita for the rest of my life. My two years at Nalanda in AP have taught me a lot of values. The place was known for the disciplinary values it imparted to the student apart from the learning. I learnt punctuality and routine, hard work and perseverance, tolerance and passion. The community, students and faculty alike, were the single major agents that did to a great extent, condition my erstwhile notion of Discipline. And, competition demands a balanced Disciplinary level.
My engineering days put forth in front of me a host of opportunities, brought in a lot of perspectives and certainly did distort all conditioned notions of discipline to a point where I was confused as to what should the way of life be. All my life, there was one thing that never failed to propel me: Stand on my own. It’s futile to shout, but I have been through various phases of hardship and efforts to where I am today. Engineering taught me integrity of values. I have always thought that my way in those four years did suit me. I am still confused if they did compromise on my character. I have always made it a point to improve; I falter many a times and promise to me once again.
Needless to say, my stay at XIMB so far has taught me more lessons, esp. on Discipline and integrity, than my entire span of learning. Competition to the neck is a defining factor in the learning. Every concept taught in a lecture, has an analogy with something to do with our own self. Every second spent wisely is an investment for a world to accrue in times to come. I do falter, many a times, but I take back a lesson to put the next foot in the right direction. I do exhaust, but I wake up to a call for a reason to fill. There is no void in oneself that would go uncovered at the end of two years is what I believe. And to succeed, I have to manage my resources the best, know what I want and channel my effort into a single conduit. Though its dark end is hazy right now, I am sure the dots shall connect and I would have better things to write in my valedictory speech to my mother of learning, XIMB.
(Colon Cap D with a twinkle of hope in the wink :D)